Ready for change

Okay, so I went to the bookstore yesterday.  I was looking for a book called Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.  A friend of mine is reading it and suggested it to me.  Well the store didn't have any copies so I continued to look.  I found a book called Have a New Kid by Friday.  I found out that both of these books are by the same author, Dr. Kevin Leman.  He suggests that parents these days are so focused on their kids achieving success that they aren't letting their child fail.  I am not an extreme parent in that situation but I did see myself in some of the things he discussed.  

I have read over half of the book and started immediately with some changes.  It starts with me after all.

Last night I told Christian that he needs to get up, get dressed, brush his teeth and have shoes on in order to be on time to school this morning.  I decided (with the help of the book) to let Christian make some choices.  He needed to choose wether he was going to be responsible for himself and be on time to school or not.  I told him that I wouldn't be yelling, or reminding him of the time, that it was up to him to make sure he was at school on time.  

Here's what happened.  Christian's alarm is set for 7:15am.  At 7:30 I heard him go to the bathroom.  After that I heard a lot of laughing, playing and screwing around between Christian and Ayden.  At 7:45 I went in to get Ayden out and get him dressed.  At that time Christian was dressed but didn't have socks or shoes on.  I didn't say anything to him.  Ayden got dressed and went back in to their room where they continued to play.  At 8am Christian went to the bathroom where he remained for over 10 minutes.  He still didn't have socks or shoes on and hadn't eaten breakfast.  So time just keeps going by and he realizes at 8:25 am that he is going to be late (he has to be there at 8:30).  He finally gets his socks and shoes on which takes another 10 minutes or so.  He grabs a granola bar and we head out the door.  He was 15 minutes late to school and his first time EVER to be tardy.  I gave him a note for his teacher saying "Dear Mrs. Hill, Christian has no reason to be late.  He simply chose to play instead of getting ready for school.  This is a lesson of responsibility.  Please do whatever you do with children who are tardy.  Thanks."

Tomorrow Christian has a field trip.  He has to be on time or he will miss the bus.  I will tell him the same exact thing at bed time tonight.  If he's late, he will miss the field trip.  It will be his fault because he needs to be responsible for himself and also learn the consequences of his actions.  Whatever happens tomorrow morning will be the true test if this is going to work.  I am very anxious to find out.

On a final note I have to tell you that it was KILLING ME not to do anything this morning.  To not remind him of the time, or tell him what still needs to be done.  A true test of patients for me.