I'm old!

I turned 29 yesterday.  I was fairly sure that it wasn't going to be a great day from the start and maybe that's where I went wrong.  I should have felt positive from the beginning and I certainly didn't.

I did wake up to several emails followed by phone calls, messages and texts...oh and a couple of cards came in the mail too.  That was great and I am so grateful for all of them.

I got an email from Dominic and later a call.  He told me that it was looking like they wouldn't be leaving until somewhere between the 24th - 26th of June.  That was terribly disappointing.  When we are so close, all we have to cling to are these dates and nothing is for certain.  Its all rumors!

It was Christian's last day of school.  He got out at 1 pm.  We picked him up then came home to hang out for the rest of the day.  I figured that maybe we would order some food to pick up and bring home just to make the day a little different than the rest.  Mason took a very early nap yesterday so he was cranky for most of the evening.  Christian was in one of his moods and I was starting to get very irritated.  I finally just said "screw it".  We stayed home, I cooked hot dogs and beans for the boys and a typical diet meal for myself.  I made myself an ice cream cake and ate it alone since neither of the boys wanted any.

I heard LOTS of  "happy birthday's" and LOTS of "I love yous" but I was so completely hurt that the boys didn't wish me a happy birthday or give me a hug or make me a card.  I got nothing and it made me feel very unappreciated.  Then I felt bad for feeling that way.  They are kids and they are not worried about anyone but themselves.  That's completely normal.  I know they love me.

By the time I got the boys to bed and my dad called me I couldn't hold onto all the emotions that have built up over the past 6 months.  I completely lost it.  Why can't I be grateful for what I do have?  I always focus on all the bad stuff or the things that don't go the way I want them to go.  I don't know why I am wired that way.

I just needed to get to bed and wake up to a new day.

Today was much better.  Mason woke up at 6:15 this morning which is very odd for him.  He normally sleeps until 7:30 am.  At 9 am he was ready to go back to bed and I was too.  Ayden was up watching cartoons and Christian slept until 11am (he must have been up all night).  I laid back down while Mason slept and Dominic called me at 10 am.  I was awake, just laying in bed.  

Dominic said today that the word coming directly from the Chief is that they will most likely be leaving on the 17th (this one is not a rumor).  Of course, we never know and I am going to try to not get my hopes up (yeah right!).  I just want my husband back!

This afternoon I took the boys to walmart so we could get a pool and water toys.  I got an inflatable pool that we can put on the deck.  Its big enough for Christian to play in but also fine for Ayden and Mason.  We bought a package of those splash balls that soak up water.  Those are by far the best pool toy ever made.  I LOVE playing with them.  I got the pool set up and filled, the boys in their suits and we started playing.  I got a good work out chasing the balls down, dipping them in the water and throwing them at the boys.  They loved it and I did too.  That was fun.  Then the next door neighbor girl came over and played with the boys for a while.  Then her mom came out and invited the boys to come over to their house to play with their slip and slide.  This was the first time that both Ayden and Christian went over there.  Mason was taking a nap and the house was QUIET for one whole hour!  That was awesome!

When the boys got home we got ready for our dinner date.  We went to On The Border because I have been really missing Mexican food.  Its hard to get Dominic to go to a Mexican restaurant anyway because he's always disappointed by it.  He would much rather make his own tacos than go to a restaurant and be disappointed.  So my friend Leslyn and her 2 year old, Carson, my friend Erin and her 11 mos old son and the boys and I went out to dinner.  It was a little loud and hectic but fun.  It was nice to get together and catch up with them.  They each brought me a gift which I didn't expect.  That was very sweet of them.

Anyhow, dinner was good.  We came home and I took off my clothes to get jammies on.  The door bell rings.  I thought "oh hell".  Ayden answered the door while I pulled on a dress really fast.  Guess what it was?  Flowers, chocolates and a stuffed bear from my Aunt Val and Uncle Bill.  What a surprise that was!  I never expected that and it really made my day.

Its now 8 o' clock and everyone is quiet and doing their own thing...but everyone is happy, including me.

3rd Grade Achievements

Christian received the A-B Honor Roll, Citizenship Certificate for A in conduct and work habits all year, Commended Performance for Reading and Math for the TAKS test and Jump Rope for Heart.

He did so well academically in spite of everything we've been through this year.  We are so very proud of him.

Lazy week

I haven't done much this week.  I have, just nothing really significant.

Mason and Carson playing in the pool.

Monday turned out to be a nice day.  I was hoping for something to do but didn't have any plans.  After I took my shower I checked my cell phone and there was a message from my friend, Leslyn.  She said that they were having a bbq and invited us to come over.  I gladly accepted that invitation.  The boys had fun playing with their friends and I got to visit with my friend.  Mason and Ayden played in the baby pool.  They loved it.  It was a good time and kept my mind off of my sadness.  

Tuesday Christian went back to school.  Wednesday we went for his allergy shot and took him to the clinic for a physical.  He needed one for his Boy Scout day camp that is coming up.  Its June 8th - 12th every day from 8am to 5pm.  He's looking forward to that.

Today is the 3rd grade achievement awards ceremony at Christian's school.  We will be going to that.

Tomorrow is the last day of school!  Another year down and so, so many more to go.  I am very excited about Christian being a 4th grader and Ayden going to Pre-K.  I will have Mason home during the day for the next few years.  How great is that?

Tomorrow is also my 29th birthday.  Dang!  I'm old :)  Dominic and I can't believe that we are almost 30!  That's hard to wrap my brain around.  My friend Leslyn is going to take me to dinner on Saturday so that will be nice.

I talked to Dominic last night.  He was so tired.  He had to get up 4 times last night to either take or pick up teams.  I asked him if there was someone that could help pick up the slack but he said that if he doesn't do it himself, it won't get done right.  Today he said that he only ended up sleeping maybe 4 hours last night.  It was also 130 degrees there today!  No, that's not a typo.  130!!!!!  He said that once it gets over 110 you don't notice a difference.  Hot is hot I guess.  I hope he doesn't just spontaneously burst into flames.

There have been a few dates flying around about when the guys will get back.  On Monday I heard that they will be back on the 19th.  Then Dominic said yesterday that the latest rumor is that they won't leave there until the 25th.  That was disappointing.  Unfortunately these dates are what we cling to and the fact is that nothing is certain until they are on the plane and in the air.  That's just how it is.

Memorial Day

Thank you so those who fought and died for our freedom!

And thank you to those who are still fighting.

We celebrate you today!

Oddly enough, today is one year to the day that my mom passed away.  I spent all last night and all this morning thinking of her.  I've been thinking about how much she is missed.  I wish she didn't have to leave us so soon.  I wish I could have one more hug, one more phone call.  I can hear her voice in my head which breaks my heart.  I miss my mom so very much...words cannot express.  I love you mom!

Strawberry Pickin'

Last night I decided to look and see if I could find somewhere where the boys and I could go to get out of the house for a bit.  I thought maybe the farmers market which is downtown.  It opened today for the season.  When I looked it up on the Internet I found a website for an orchard that is nearby.
I printed the directions and off we went this afternoon to Young's Orchard.  It was 45 minutes away.  The drive was nice.  Mason slept, Christian read and Ayden called out EVERY SINGLE motorcycle he saw (FYI, motorcycle riders can ride all but about 2-3 months per year...so there are A LOT of them).  "Mom, you're never gonna guess what I just saw!"  Oh I bet I could :)
The man that runs the orchard was very nice.  He gave each of the boys a basket and pushed us out the door to the field.  He said we can eat as many as we want while we're out there.  I ate only one because they were pretty dirty.  We bought 5.5 lbs of strawberries freshly picked by ourselves.  They were dark and so sweet.  They were small but so tasty.  He also grows onions, peaches, tomatoes, asparagus and black berries.  He said to come back in two weeks for the blackberries.  I can't wait for the peaches!

Christian was totally into picking them.  He loved it.  Ayden picked...maybe three.  Then he decided that it would be much more fun to run up and down the rows, which was totally fine.  We had a great time and we will most definitely be going back...very soon.
I made 6 jars of strawberry/orange jam and 4 jars of sugar free strawberry jam.  This one event made for a great day.

Success!

It worked!  I heard Christian going to the bathroom at 6:45 am.  At 7:15 I heard him pouring himself cereal.  When I got up he was dressed, with the exception of socks and shoes, he had eaten breakfast and got his backpack ready.  Amazing!  He was sitting quietly in the chair reading a book while the other two boys were waking up.  Christian made it to school just after 8 o' clock this morning.  It was perfect!  Completely stress free, I love that.

I praised his efforts and hugged him and told him that this is what I expect from him.

Christian is completely capable of doing these things but because he knew I was going to make sure he did, he didn't HAVE to be responsible for himself.  That was my mistake.  I have learned a huge lesson from this.

In other news, Dominic took his math final last week.  He got an 86 in the class which isn't as good as he hoped but he's okay with that.  He's happy that its over and he feels like he made something of the deployment.  The month of May is going quickly for me.  Once this week is over we will have next week which is the last week of school.  Friday the 29th is the last day.  Then it will be maybe two or three more weeks before Dominic comes home.  Its right around the corner and I am so excited!

Ready for change

Okay, so I went to the bookstore yesterday.  I was looking for a book called Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.  A friend of mine is reading it and suggested it to me.  Well the store didn't have any copies so I continued to look.  I found a book called Have a New Kid by Friday.  I found out that both of these books are by the same author, Dr. Kevin Leman.  He suggests that parents these days are so focused on their kids achieving success that they aren't letting their child fail.  I am not an extreme parent in that situation but I did see myself in some of the things he discussed.  

I have read over half of the book and started immediately with some changes.  It starts with me after all.

Last night I told Christian that he needs to get up, get dressed, brush his teeth and have shoes on in order to be on time to school this morning.  I decided (with the help of the book) to let Christian make some choices.  He needed to choose wether he was going to be responsible for himself and be on time to school or not.  I told him that I wouldn't be yelling, or reminding him of the time, that it was up to him to make sure he was at school on time.  

Here's what happened.  Christian's alarm is set for 7:15am.  At 7:30 I heard him go to the bathroom.  After that I heard a lot of laughing, playing and screwing around between Christian and Ayden.  At 7:45 I went in to get Ayden out and get him dressed.  At that time Christian was dressed but didn't have socks or shoes on.  I didn't say anything to him.  Ayden got dressed and went back in to their room where they continued to play.  At 8am Christian went to the bathroom where he remained for over 10 minutes.  He still didn't have socks or shoes on and hadn't eaten breakfast.  So time just keeps going by and he realizes at 8:25 am that he is going to be late (he has to be there at 8:30).  He finally gets his socks and shoes on which takes another 10 minutes or so.  He grabs a granola bar and we head out the door.  He was 15 minutes late to school and his first time EVER to be tardy.  I gave him a note for his teacher saying "Dear Mrs. Hill, Christian has no reason to be late.  He simply chose to play instead of getting ready for school.  This is a lesson of responsibility.  Please do whatever you do with children who are tardy.  Thanks."

Tomorrow Christian has a field trip.  He has to be on time or he will miss the bus.  I will tell him the same exact thing at bed time tonight.  If he's late, he will miss the field trip.  It will be his fault because he needs to be responsible for himself and also learn the consequences of his actions.  Whatever happens tomorrow morning will be the true test if this is going to work.  I am very anxious to find out.

On a final note I have to tell you that it was KILLING ME not to do anything this morning.  To not remind him of the time, or tell him what still needs to be done.  A true test of patients for me.

Am I Failing?

I'm just going to put this out there. 

I think I am failing as a parent.  

I can't seem to get Christian, who is going to be 9 years old, to get up, get dressed and brush his teeth in the morning.  He turns off his alarm clock and goes back to sleep.  Then once he is finally up he sits on the floor looking dazed and confused while getting dressed.  It took him 5 minutes to get one sock on.  He sits on the floor to put on his pants/shorts.  I feel like I need to stay next to him every minute to be sure he stays on track.  Am I right to be so frustrated?  Why am I still putting on and tying his shoes?  The honest to goodness truth is because it would take him 10 minutes to do it himself!  I get so frustrated with him.  Shouldn't he be able to handle these responsibilities?  He's almost 9!  He should be able to take a shower.  He should be able to turn on the water, get in, get wet and washed, turn off the water, dry off...etc.  Nope, I turn on the water and leave him for about 5 minutes.  When I come back I expect him to have washed his body and hair.  Instead when I come back his hair isn't even wet and he's been sitting in the bottom of the shower playing with shampoo bottles!  I want to scream!  

Last week I packed up all the toys and put them in the garage.  I was so tired of stepping on toys because they can't keep their room clean.  I told him over and over again that if they didn't take care of the toys I was going to get rid of them.  Well I didn't get rid of them but I did put them all away.  They have to earn them back.

Obviously what I am doing isn't working.  I guess its time to go to the bookstore.  Maybe I will find some answers there.

FAST Article

Check out this article about Dominic and his team!

33 days to go!

Dominic gives me the countdown every couple of days.  We are talking more and more about what it will be like when he gets home, what he wants to do and what he wants to eat.

He asked me to bring him some cheese and salami with crackers when we come to pick him up.  He said that he has been wanting cheese really bad.  He usually cuts a huge hunk off of the block of cheese and eats it while drinking a pepsi.


He can't decide if he wants steak or tacos for his first meal home.  I think it will depend on what time they get back.  I just cannot wait until I see him walking off that bus!

Mother's Day

My Mother's Day was fairly slow and quiet. The boys watched cartoons and played in their room. There were still the normal "mom, Christian hit me!" and "he was annoying me!" comments going on all day but if I thought that would change for one day...I would be kidding myself.  I had a friend over for dinner which was nice.  It had been a while since we'd seen each other and it was nice to catch up a bit.
Last year on Mother's Day I was visiting my mom in the hospital.  This year I planted her some flowers.  I really missed her yesterday.  I did fine most of the day until the evening.  I was pretty emotional and felt like I needed to cry.  I never did.

Christian's class created these cookbooks for Mother's Day from recipes that the kids submitted as their favorite recipe.  It is so cute!  I love it!

Single Mom

I've been a "single" mom for about six months now.  I use the term single lightly because I know I am far from a true single parent.  I do have a very loving and supportive husband, he just happens to be gone for a while.

Mason was extremely tired yesterday evening and ended up going to bed at 6:45pm.  He woke up at 11pm with a poopy diaper.  I got up, changed him and put him back to bed.  He woke up again several times crying but got himself back to sleep.  Then at 5:20 am I heard the bathroom door close which meant Christian was up.  The door closing woke Mason.  When I went to get him I noticed the bedroom light on under Christian's door.  I opened the door to find Christian fully dressed for school playing with toys on the floor.  I asked him what the heck he was doing.  He said "What?  I've been up since 4!"  UGH!  Ridiculous!  Then the next thing I know, Ayden is awake.  I was so angry!  Christian woke up the whole house because he wanted to play with toys before school.  How frustrating!  

His punishment?  He's going to bed at 5 pm tonight.  I bet he thinks I'm kidding too.

I don't know how single parents do it.

Canvas Art

Back in early April I learned about a program by Canvas On Demand from another blogger.  They do something called Operation Hi Mom.  Basically you can submit a photo to have turned into a canvas for your mother, grandmother, wife...etc.  I told Dominic about it so we decided to submit a photo to see what happened.  I guess they do 500 free canvases and if more than 500 people submit a photo they randomly pick 500.  

This canvas arrived via FedEx today.  It turned out great and I love this photo.  Happy Mother's Day to me :)

Back to School!

I heard on the news today that Christian's school will be back open tomorrow morning.  I guess the CDC has changed the recommendation for district closures.  I'm so glad!  I will get to register Ayden for Pre-K tomorrow and go the the orientation on Thursday.  

I had my appointment today.  I started getting nervous about an hour before my appointment.  I feel like everyone is watching me walk in with three kids in tow when it clearly says on the appointment reminder "bringing your children to your appointment with you is not advisable" among other things.  I brought lots of coloring and activity books, toys and snacks expecting that we might have to wait more than an hour.  My doctor always runs late.  We ended up waiting exactly an hour.  Christian was fine with his DS, Ayden was tough to keep occupied but he did fairly well.  Mason was tired and wanted out of the stroller.  I had to keep him happy with toys, bottle and playing peek-a-boo.  It all worked out and we got out of there as fast as we possibly could.

Seven weeks to go!

We got some great packages today.  Dominic sent home a huge black trunk full of gear that he doesn't need.  He also sent home a box full of DVD's that he's purchased and more pictures.  These packages really make it feel like his homecoming is getting close.  We are finally counting weeks instead of months.  Soon we will be counting days...I hope.

I'm dreading a doctor's appointment tomorrow.  I have an appointment again and the office does not like children to be there...once again I don't have a babysitter (she has a final, believe me I tried) and now that Christian isn't at school I have to take all three boys.  It really makes me stress out because the doctor always runs late and the longer we wait the more impatient the boys are which causes me to loose my mind.  I NEED HELP!

Usually when I have just Ayden and Mason, we are fine.  Its when Ayden and Christian get together that we begin to have problems.  Ayden wants to play with his big brother and Christian wants to be alone.  Christian has always been perfectly fine playing by himself.  He prefers it that way.  Ayden just will not leave Christian alone.  He wants to watch Christian play is DS instead of playing his own Leapster.  Its a tough situation and I know that it will make for a stressful appointment tomorrow.  I'm so dreading it and I will be so happy when its over.

Swine Flu...a little too close to home

I got a phone call today (yes, Sunday) from Christian's teacher.  She told me that there is a suspected case of swine flu in one of the students at Christian's school!  What?  Are you kidding me?  I guess she wouldn't be calling on a Sunday to joke with me.

She says that the school will be closed through Wednesday.  On the news they said "until further notice".  The school will be sanitized this week.  I guess we just have to wait for the CDC to determine the exact strain of the virus which could not be identified by the county labs.  If the results come back positive the school must remain closed for 14 days.

I guess it will be a long week...or maybe two.

Last week there were two suspected cases of kids in another school in the district who had contact with their grandmother from Mexico who was determined to have the positive strain of swine flu.  That school was closed all last week and will re-open tomorrow.  Their tests came back negative.

Another boring weekend ahead

I realized today that I do not look forward to the weekends.  Its tough to not have something to do or somewhere to go.  We are expected to have huge storms again this weekend so we will be stuck in the house.

I feel like a child saying "I'm bored".  I've got to come up with something to do this weekend before I loose my mind!