I'm old!

I turned 29 yesterday.  I was fairly sure that it wasn't going to be a great day from the start and maybe that's where I went wrong.  I should have felt positive from the beginning and I certainly didn't.

I did wake up to several emails followed by phone calls, messages and texts...oh and a couple of cards came in the mail too.  That was great and I am so grateful for all of them.

I got an email from Dominic and later a call.  He told me that it was looking like they wouldn't be leaving until somewhere between the 24th - 26th of June.  That was terribly disappointing.  When we are so close, all we have to cling to are these dates and nothing is for certain.  Its all rumors!

It was Christian's last day of school.  He got out at 1 pm.  We picked him up then came home to hang out for the rest of the day.  I figured that maybe we would order some food to pick up and bring home just to make the day a little different than the rest.  Mason took a very early nap yesterday so he was cranky for most of the evening.  Christian was in one of his moods and I was starting to get very irritated.  I finally just said "screw it".  We stayed home, I cooked hot dogs and beans for the boys and a typical diet meal for myself.  I made myself an ice cream cake and ate it alone since neither of the boys wanted any.

I heard LOTS of  "happy birthday's" and LOTS of "I love yous" but I was so completely hurt that the boys didn't wish me a happy birthday or give me a hug or make me a card.  I got nothing and it made me feel very unappreciated.  Then I felt bad for feeling that way.  They are kids and they are not worried about anyone but themselves.  That's completely normal.  I know they love me.

By the time I got the boys to bed and my dad called me I couldn't hold onto all the emotions that have built up over the past 6 months.  I completely lost it.  Why can't I be grateful for what I do have?  I always focus on all the bad stuff or the things that don't go the way I want them to go.  I don't know why I am wired that way.

I just needed to get to bed and wake up to a new day.

Today was much better.  Mason woke up at 6:15 this morning which is very odd for him.  He normally sleeps until 7:30 am.  At 9 am he was ready to go back to bed and I was too.  Ayden was up watching cartoons and Christian slept until 11am (he must have been up all night).  I laid back down while Mason slept and Dominic called me at 10 am.  I was awake, just laying in bed.  

Dominic said today that the word coming directly from the Chief is that they will most likely be leaving on the 17th (this one is not a rumor).  Of course, we never know and I am going to try to not get my hopes up (yeah right!).  I just want my husband back!

This afternoon I took the boys to walmart so we could get a pool and water toys.  I got an inflatable pool that we can put on the deck.  Its big enough for Christian to play in but also fine for Ayden and Mason.  We bought a package of those splash balls that soak up water.  Those are by far the best pool toy ever made.  I LOVE playing with them.  I got the pool set up and filled, the boys in their suits and we started playing.  I got a good work out chasing the balls down, dipping them in the water and throwing them at the boys.  They loved it and I did too.  That was fun.  Then the next door neighbor girl came over and played with the boys for a while.  Then her mom came out and invited the boys to come over to their house to play with their slip and slide.  This was the first time that both Ayden and Christian went over there.  Mason was taking a nap and the house was QUIET for one whole hour!  That was awesome!

When the boys got home we got ready for our dinner date.  We went to On The Border because I have been really missing Mexican food.  Its hard to get Dominic to go to a Mexican restaurant anyway because he's always disappointed by it.  He would much rather make his own tacos than go to a restaurant and be disappointed.  So my friend Leslyn and her 2 year old, Carson, my friend Erin and her 11 mos old son and the boys and I went out to dinner.  It was a little loud and hectic but fun.  It was nice to get together and catch up with them.  They each brought me a gift which I didn't expect.  That was very sweet of them.

Anyhow, dinner was good.  We came home and I took off my clothes to get jammies on.  The door bell rings.  I thought "oh hell".  Ayden answered the door while I pulled on a dress really fast.  Guess what it was?  Flowers, chocolates and a stuffed bear from my Aunt Val and Uncle Bill.  What a surprise that was!  I never expected that and it really made my day.

Its now 8 o' clock and everyone is quiet and doing their own thing...but everyone is happy, including me.